55直播

国外也有段子手:看球必备救心丸!

时间: 来源:足球直播

小伙伴们大家好,欢迎来到每周的“国外也有段子手”!上周的欧洲赛场精彩看点层出不穷,阿森纳赢下了和切尔西的焦点之战,利物浦逆转取胜继续领跑,曼联取得连胜,曼城、巴萨、皇马等球队也纷纷获得胜利。好了,话不多说,让我们快来看看歪果仁们的精彩吐槽吧!

carter-ish(利物浦球迷): 天呐,我竟然能活着看完这场比赛!(Oh my god. I've survived this game.)

Shesaidyes(切尔西球迷): 利物浦比切尔西牛逼的地方就在于,他们明白想要赢球你就得进的比对方多…(Liverpool has more intelligence than Chelsea since they know you must score more than the opposite if you want to win.)

kabuto23(西班牙球迷): 利物浦这比赛看得菊花总是一紧,那利物浦球迷岂不是都得痔疮了…(How do LFC fans not have hemorrhoids from being made to clench so hard?)

RoyalCSGO(利物浦球迷): 其实我们菊花上的伤疤早就结成老茧啦,这对我们都是日常操作而已!(We’ve built enough scar tissue in our butts that clenching is just a natural position for us.)

BertMacklin_F_B_I(利物浦球迷): 这场比赛仿佛让我老了5岁…(i feel 5 years older after this game.)

UnicornFritters(利物浦球迷): 这该死的足球!(    )

(图):“如果你在沉睡1000年后醒来,第一件事你会问什么呢?”“利物浦得英超冠军了吗?”

Heatonism(利物浦球迷): 本赛季对阵利物浦能进3球的球队,只有霍奇森的水晶宫…(Sides that have put 3 goals past Liverpool this season: Roy Hodgson’s Crystal Palace.)

steide56(利物浦球迷): 本赛季能进曼城3球的球队,只有霍奇森的水晶宫…(Sides that have put 3 goals past Man City this season: Roy Hodgson's Crystal Palace.)

best36(利物浦球迷): 而且还都是在客场进的…(and they did both those things away from home.)

bonjoviworstbandever(利物浦球迷): 霍奇森还是和当年执教利物浦的时候一样,只在安菲尔德输球!(Hodgson only lost at anfield as liverpool manager hahaha end me.)

VVVVenus(波尔图球迷): 利物浦球员咋都这么持久?克洛普这是给他们吃了什么样的春药啊?(i can't understand how Liverpool players run so fucking much, what kind of philter Klopp feeding those guys.)

Fuckyouidontneedone(切尔西球迷): 我们确实很擅长浪费时间啊,只不过当落后的时候就没那么好玩了…(man we're really fucking good at time wasting. Not a good thing when we're losing.)

jam_rtnz(切尔西球迷): 阿森纳这防守就像是穆里尼奥手下的切尔西一样!(Arsenal defending like Chelsea under Mourinho)

Fredbrightfrog(休斯顿迪纳摩球迷): 就算裁判给1个小时的补时,切尔西恐怕还是连一脚射正都憋不出来吧!(Ref could add 60 minutes extra time and Chelsea still wouldn't get a shot on target.)

ljshea1(未知主队球迷): 切尔西现在就是个迷,在距离球门30迷外踢得就跟巴萨似的,一旦跑到禁区里却又立马变成桑德兰了…(Chelsea are such an enigma. Barcelona up until they're 30 yards from goal then they turn into fucking Sunderland. It's shocking.)

Gambling2312(切尔西球迷): 大家好,我是切尔西,我只会往禁区里传中,但我就是不让吉鲁首发,我好笨,大家不要学我。(Hello I'm Chelsea, I'm playing "cross in the box" only, I don't start with Giroud, I'm stupid. Don't be like Chelsea.)

EezoManiac(切尔西球迷): 其实,每一场比赛大家都抱怨为啥不让吉鲁首发,而等到他一上场你就明白为什么了…(Every game man. People beg for Giroud until he comes on and people remember why he doesn't start.)

InquisitiveCommunist(阿森纳球迷): 切尔西这是有多菜啊,不但能输给我厂,而且竟然还能被我厂零封?(How shit are Chelsea? Not only losing to us but also failing to score lol.)

Adolphix(巴黎球迷): 我有点怀疑切尔西是不是不知道必须得先射门才能进球啊…(I don’t know if Chelsea know that they have to shoot to score.)

Freshsalsadip(曼联球迷): 除非卢卡库减肥50公斤,否则还是不要首发了吧!(Lukaku cannot get back into this team start line unless he loses 50 kilos.)

IamFanboy(曼联球迷): 说实话,最后10分钟看得我都快把翔拉裤子里了…(Not going to lie I was pretty much shitting my pants in the last 10 minutes.)

Idontlikethisstuff(阿森纳球迷): 曼联能把穆里尼奥再请回来吗?现在一点都不好玩…(Can Man utd bring back mourinho pls? This is no fun.)

Bobskidat(莱斯特城球迷): 这不公平!你们怎么能让一个镇去踢一座城呢?(This is unfair you can’t have a city play a town.)

BiologicalMigrant(未知主队球迷): 曼城的进球集锦,总是需要在进球5分钟之前就开始播放才行…(City's goals always need the 5 minutes highlight of play beforehand :-D.)

DaedalistDota(切尔西球迷): 在球门前给梅西这么大空间,就好像给吸血鬼闻到了血腥味一样…(Giving Messi this much space in front of goal is like giving Dracula a blood transfusion.)

Poisonmonger(巴萨球迷): 梅西还是知道物理学定律的,无奈物理学定律不知道他啊!(Messi knows the laws of physics, but the laws of physics don't know him.)

UndercoveredGOAT(本菲卡球迷): 梅西和阿尔巴的连线比我和我女朋友都多了…(Messi and Alba got a better connection than me and my girlfriend.)

Mtchilliader(圣保罗球迷): 可能是因为梅西和阿尔巴都是真实存在的人吧!(for one messi and alba actually exist.)

RogerCrabbit(纽卡球迷): 我都厌倦梅西每周都这么牛逼了,你就不能换个花样踢出一坨翔来吗?(I'm getting bored of watching Messi play insanely well every week, do something crap for once dude.)

the_two_yutes(瑞士球迷): 梅西并没有左右优势脚之分,因为他两只脚都能进球…(J’sais plus si j’suis gaucher ou droitier, je tire des deux pieds.)

omegaxLoL(曼联球迷): 想象一下,当莱加内斯球员已经被登贝莱搞得晕头转向的时候,结果又发现梅西在场边热身了…(Imagine being part of this Leganes team trying to deal with Dembele all game and then seeing fucking Messi warming up to come on as well.)

Deliisback(未知主队球迷): 今天这裁判的误判,差不多可以出一期集锦了吧… (There would be a highlight for the ref’s shit today.)

Reviroa(皇马球迷): 当有后腰给你进球的时候,谁还需要前锋啊?(who needs strikers when you have dm to score.)

HacksawJimDGN(未知主队球迷): 莫德里奇配得上进球!毕竟他的西甲冠军数和保利尼奥一样多!(Modric worth it, he has as many La Liga titles as Paulinho.)

好了,亲爱的小伙伴们,本期的“国外也有段子手”就为大家播报到这了,让我们拭目以待,来看下期歪果仁们更加精彩的犀利吐槽吧!